Hello conscious world, I am Linnifred. I am a lucid dreamer who wishes to utilize such beautiful disillusionment as the transformation of my soul. I am in a portion of my life that I wish to meet with less suffering. I have always wished to be perfect and with that I have only met the painful reality that perfect never existed and that I’d always make mistakes. Writing this will really be just another big mistake on my part, but I think I’d like to keep making mistakes. I realized that all the collective ”mistakes” I’ve ever made really were the credit for any later successes that I’ve had. Transformation through the act of trying to be my best mistake my flawed soul has ever made. As a lucid dreamer I can utilize the world I’m into the blossoming change that I’d like to embark on through the journey of writing. I’ve always felt without a voice and because of such perspectives I’ve come across as outspoken. Now that I can sing a song of life and love I can articulate the wonders of founding my own enlightenment.
I’ve always been rather odd and on top of that suffering from intense mental illness. On Febuary 14 2013 I met the straw that broke the camels back. My chronic physical illness then transformed and disabled me from doing all the far away dreams that would then make me perfect. I could no longer be a learn martial arts, model, work in a successful career, get control of my anxiety as every reaction I get with my disorders augers a sense of self blame making the ailment exaggerated. I had a huge list of things that I wanted to do with my life and when I realized I would never could never I was very depressed. I’ve reconstructed so many plans to have every dream all happen at once so in that way I didn’t have to abandon any of the dreams. That never worked as some dreams must be let go as a sacrifice to the time it does take for any one dream to really manifest in reality. I’ve learned you cannot plan life. If you can go with the flow and accept things will come much quicker than later.
I had no support from anyone but my lover at the time who became too burdened with sadness of seeing me hurt by my condition. We separated. Now I have no one but myself to look for answers and I know deep inside me I can transform and no longer be a participant of the suffering of suffering. I intend to write everyday and utilize this platform to truly do everything I’ve ever wanted to do. Because of writing I have a sense of accomplishment that enables me not to view the restrictions of being sick. There is a sense to realism in this dreamers mind that there are things I can do and things I can’t. I am glad that I know the difference. While focusing on what I can do I will be more than delighted to contribute to my evolution as a person who know longer wants to be amongst the flowers. You and I are gorgeous masterpieces that stand prominently and can stand any weather. We are like trees raising our branches to the limitless sky of possibilities. The horizon is above us and what we cant see still exists. Beautiful realities are possibilities. Let me share with you my beautiful transformation only to help you realize that you too are beautiful and capable of anything.